


The Uber Driver's Ex

by barryallenisravenclaw



Category: Blue Beetle (Comics), Booster Gold (Comics), Justice League International (Comics), Second City - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, I swear, M/M, Uber, booster is an Uber driver, but this time it's important, if people tag that for this, im going to, its funny, kind of, second city quotes, should I tag that as a fandom?, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 03:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barryallenisravenclaw/pseuds/barryallenisravenclaw
Summary: Booster is having a great day in his career as an Uber driver in Chicago... until he isn't. How he didn't notice that his next passenger was his ex girlfriend is beyond him, but now here he is and there's no way to get out of it. Unless...





	The Uber Driver's Ex

**Author's Note:**

> This entire concept is from a Second City bit that I watched on 5/13/19 in Chicago wherein the Booster character was played by Griffin Wenzler, the Lucy was Olivia Nielsen, and the Ted was Asia Martin. Obviously, theirs wasn't Boostle, but it had be cracking up and a lot of the lines are taken directly from that sketch. The other people performing that night were Ben Larrison, Terrence Carey, and Sarah Dell'Amico, who I credit just in case they wrote the sketch. I found this funny, and I hope you do too. No infringement is intended through the use of your jokes, you guys are the best.

"Wow, I'm having a great day," Booster said to himself as he drove his Uber down the road to pick up his next client. "Nothing could ever ruin this."

"Hi, are you my Uber?" The woman standing on the corner asked.

"That depends, are you Lucy?" Booster replied. He said the same thing to all of his riders to prove that he wasn't a creepy psychopath.

Lucy nodded and got in the car. As he turned around to greet her and tell her about the provided snacks in the backseat, Booster made a horrifying discovery. This woman, his customer, was none other than Lucy Wu, his first girlfriend in the past.

"Booster?"

"Lucy?"

"But..." Lucy frowned. "Your name on Uber said Michael..."

Booster scratched nervously at the back of his head and averted his gaze. "Michael is my given name."

Lucy smacked him on the arm. "We dated for eight months! How did you not tell me that?"

Booster shrugged. "Sorry?" He started driving forward, so Lucy put on her seatbelt and rolled her eyes. She had the prettiest eyes, hazel and big behind her glasses. She kind of looked like Velma from that ancient cartoon. God, he missed Lucy. Booster had only had one night stands since her. Many, many one night stands, but still.

"This is totally weird seeing you again," Lucy said, interrupting his thoughts. "Do you think maybe it's... fate?"

Booster looked back at her through his rear view mirror and grinned. "That's exactly what I was going to say."

"And the timing is perfect," she continued. "I'm only in the city for a few weeks to plan my wedding, and then I'm gone again. Oh em gee you should totally come to my wedding!"

Booster felt like absolute garbage. "That would be great." It would not be great. "I only hope I can make it." Please, God, Caesar, Great Bird of the Galaxy, anyone, come save him. 

"Me too," Lucy said sweetly. "And you're more than welcome to bring a plus one. Maybe if your sister isn't busy, or if you have a friend you'd like to bring... or if you don't bring anyone that's fine, too."

Booster could not believe this. He was stuck in his own Uber, visiting the fifth circle of hell. It's ok, Booster, don't panic, just ask when the wedding is and say you can't make it. You could be going on vacation or something that would require--

"I'll have a plus one," Booster stupidly cut off his inner monologue. "I'll bring my own fiancé."

Sometimes Booster amazed himself.

"What's their name?"

And other times, Booster made himself greatly disappointed.

"Uh, a name huh? Well, I'm glad you asked. The name of my fiancé is..." Booster's phone pinged for a pickup, and he glanced at it. "Ted Kord." Aaaaaaand he read the name out loud. God dammit, Booster, can't you do anything right?

Lucy looked up at him in the mirror. "Um, no, that's just another Uber pool rider. I asked what your fiancé's name was."

"That is his name." No, Booster, shut up.

"You're picking up your fiancé in your Uber pool right now as a rider," Lucy said, helpfully outlining the situation.

"Yep." Booster hoped desperately that he would come out of this interaction alive and without an obligation to go to this wedding. He stopped to pick up Mr Kord and tried to keep a straight face as he continued driving.

"So, Ted," Lucy said, startling Ted and making him look up from his phone. "Booster here tells me you'd be able to come to my wedding."

"I didn't say that," Booster cut in hastily. "I said that we'd come if we can make it. But we might not be able to make it, depending."

Ted looked back and forth between Booster and Lucy, either attempting to read the room or figure out who the hell Booster was when the driver's name was clearly Michael. "Yep," he added, noncommittally. Booster felt very sorry for him. He had no idea how to signal the words 'this is my hot ex please help me' to the guy while maintaining decorum.

"Oh, where are my manners," Lucy says, when her first comment gains no answer from Ted. "I'm Lucy, Booster's ex girlfriend. Booster was just telling me all about you. How did you two meet?"

"Well--" Booster started. Maybe he could think of something by the time he finished his sentence.

"He saved me," Ted cut in. Booster stared at him in the rear view mirror. "I got hit by a bus and he just happened to be picking someone up right there. He ran over and gave me cpr and called an ambulance. He's a real life saver."

Lucy and Booster stared at Ted in amazement. What a story. "Wow," Lucy said finally, "what a story."

"Yep," Ted replied, getting back on his phone.

The three of them sat in awkward silence for a couple minutes before Lucy finally broke it again. This was turning into one of the longest rides of Booster's life.

"So, Ted, what do you do for a living?"

Booster blanched. The guy was wearing a tracksuit even though it wasn't 1986. He was probably pretty much broke. Booster really hoped the guy was as good at lying as he seemed to be.

"Brain doctor," Ted said without looking up. Oh God, why? What did Booster do to deserve this?

Lucy raised her eyebrows. "Don't you mean neurosurgeon?"

Ted shrugged. "If that's what you wanna call it. I call it being a brain doctor." Lucy didn't look like she believed the guy, and frankly neither did Booster. He needed to do something and quick. But, before he could, Ted looked up from his phone and squinted at Lucy. He followed this with the statement, "you have a small head. That means you have a small brain as well. You're probably not that smart, and I would know since I'm a brain doctor."

Booster snorted. Lucy scoffed. "I'm a partner at my law firm."

"You must not have that many clients," Ted replied. Lucy was about to retort when Ted grabbed Booster's elbow from the arm rest and said rather loudly, "I can't wait to get home, babe. We're gonna have so much fun tonight."

Booster quickly flipped his arm around so her could grab at Ted's knee with his free hand. "Yeah happy birthday babe." Stupid Booster, why did you say that, Booster?

Ted's eyes narrowed and he grinned at Booster through the rear view mirror. "I hope you have something planned special, babe." Then, Ted licked Booster's hand.

He /licked/ Booster's hand.

/He licked Booster's hand./

Ted licked all the way up from the tip of Booster's index finger to his wrist, the back down his pinky. Booster let out an unmanly squeak. Lucy rolled her eyes.

"You know what, you can just let me out up here," Lucy said.

Booster tried to hide his smile. "We're only two blocks away from your stop, I'll get you there quick, don't worry."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Whatever, just go."

Ted smirked, still holding Booster's hand. "You know, Lilly--"

"Lucy," she muttered.

"--our wedding is in a few months. You should bring your fiancé." Ted finished.

Booster was amazed at the man's audacity. He was also extremely attracted to him and hoped he was secretly single.

"I'm busy all of July," Lucy said, trying but failing to sound bored.

"When's your wedding?" Ted asked sweetly. He was stroking Booster's hand now in an unmistakable fashion and it was just making Lucy more uncomfortable.

"June 25th."

"Uh oh," Ted said. Booster almost snorted but he kept it in check.

"Why uh oh?" Lucy asked.

"That's a bad day for weddings. The most wedding murders happen in June 25th."

If Lucy weren't there, Booster would be howling.

"Wedding murders?" She wasn't buying it.

"Oh yeah, last year a crazy mom killed her daughter-in-law right after she and the son were married. Mom cut her head right off. Blood ruined the poor girl's dress, but hey I guess she wasn't going to use it anymore."

"Here's your stop!" Booster called sweetly. "It was great seeing you, Lucy, I hope you don't get murdered."

Lucy frowned deeply at Booster and Ted, then exited the car. "Great meeting you," she replied, then slammed the car door and stormed off.

"Bwahahaha!" Booster and Ted laughed for ten straight minutes. It was coming in so hard that Booster had to pull into a parking lot so that they wouldn't crash. There were tears in his eyes when he finally composed himself enough to speak. "Thank you so much for all of that. I loved every second of it."

Ted shrugged. "It was nothing. You certainly made my night."

"That's what I was going to say to you!" Booster yelled, turning around in his seat to look at Ted, really look at him for the first time since he got into the car. The man was handsome as hell. Booster had no regrets about claiming him as a fake fiancé.

"You'd be surprised how many times this has happened to me," Ted replied.

"It's happened before?!?"

Ted laughed. "Too many times to count, but this is the first time I've actually wanted to help the guy out. Usually I expose the poor bastard almost as soon as I get in the car, just so I can watch him squirm."

Booster stared at him. "I will never thank you enough for not screwing me over like that. How can I ever repay you?"

Ted grinned. "How about dinner? Right now?"

Booster grinned back. "What about your ride?"

Ted shook his head. "I was just heading to a company party anyway. This will be much more fun. Mind if I hop in the front seat? You can cancel the ride."

Booster hit the end button just as Ted buckled his seatbelt in the passenger seat. "So, are you really a brain doctor?"

The two of them burst into laughter and had to stay parked for much longer in order to recover. 

They have been together ever since.


End file.
